In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods…
On a Myer hairdryer:
‘Do not use while sleeping’. (Darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
‘Directions: Use like regular soap’. (And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
‘Serving suggestion: Defrost’. (But, it’s just a suggestion).
On Nanna’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
‘Do not turn upside down’. (Well….duh, a bit late, huh?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
‘Product will be hot after heating’. (And you thought????…)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
‘Do not iron clothes on body’.(But wouldn’t this save me more time?)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine:
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this dedication’
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness’. (And, I’m taking this because??)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
‘For indoor or outdoor use only’. (As opposed to… what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
‘Not to be used for the other use’… (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Nobby’s peanuts:
‘Warning: contains nuts’. (Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts’. (Step 3: maybe, uh… fly Delta?)
I don’t blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child’s superman costume: ‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly’.
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