La Fable de l’Ours et du Lapin
C’est un ours qui poursuit un lapin. L’ours : Je vais t’attraper, petit merdeux de lapin. Le lapin : Va te faire voir, ours de merde qui pue la pisse. Les deux traversent un champ et là se trouve une grenouille magique La grenouille : Stoppez la vous deux! Je suis une grenouille magique et […]
Don’t Mess With Old People
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD George Phillips of Marsh Green, Michigan was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw […]
THREE WOMEN
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. “THAT WAS MY PAGER,” SHE SAID. “I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.” A FEW MINUTES LATER, […]
Deep Thoughts
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you… 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry. 3. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they […]
Stress Management Technique
Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. […]
An Amusing Song (from “Twisted Humor”)
http://www.igc.be/igc/dearpenis.htm
Sedm divů Socialismu a Kapitalismu
Sedm divů socialismu: Každý měl práci. I když měl každý práci, nikdo nic nedělal. I když nikdo nic nedělal, plán se plnil nad 100 procent. I když se plán plnil nad 100%, nikde nic nebylo. I když nikde nic nebylo, tak měl každý všechno. I když měl každý všechno, tak všichni kradli. I když všichni […]
Three Southern Boys
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, ‘Yup, his face […]
Elderly Couple
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, ‘Honey, you know I […]
Thought for the Day
Don’t waste your precious energy on negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
