Inspection
A deputy sheriff stops at a dairy farm and talks with the old farmer who is the owner. He tells the farmer, “I need to inspect your property for illegally grown marijuana.”
The old farmer says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!”
Pointing to the badge on his chest, he proudly says, “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear!!? Do you understand?”
The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old guy hears loud screams and sees the deputy running for his life and close behind is the a huge breeder bull. With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The officer is clearly terrified.
The old farmer immediately throws down his pitch fork, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs:
“Your badge! Show him your badge!”
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Two beggars
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome–one has a cross in front of him, the other one the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and tells him, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite.”
The beggar behind the Star of David after listening to the priest, turns to the other beggar with the cross and say, “Moishe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!”
