Thought of the Day
If you wait to do everything until you are sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything. Win Borden
Szovjetunióban Történt
A Szovjetunióban haldoklik nagyanyó, a nagyapó végigjárja az orvosokat, van-e valami remény – végül egy alternatív doktor azt mondja neki: egy módon segíthet az asszonynak, ha teljesíti férji kötelezettségét. Mire az öreg: – Nagyon öreg vagyok én már, kezem között halt meg Lenin elvtárs, hogy tehetnék én ilyet..? De az orvos csak győzködik, hogy nincs […]
I Thought Cucumbers Were Only for Salads..
This information was in the New York Times several weeks ago as part of their “Spotlight on the Home” series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems. 1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, […]
New Sex Study…
It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
Two for the Day
Inspection A deputy sheriff stops at a dairy farm and talks with the old farmer who is the owner. He tells the farmer, “I need to inspect your property for illegally grown marijuana.” The old farmer says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the […]
O x y m o r o n s
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something […]
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey be plump, May your potatoes and gravy Have never a lump. May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off your thighs! Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Nevessünk
A halottak nem élnek nemi életet, mégis szaporodnak. A Vatikán ellenzi a béranyaságot. Szerencse, hogy ez az álláspont még nem volt érvényben, amikor Jézus született. A csúszómászók sohasem esnek hasra. A gazdaság a szakadék szélén áll, de jövőre egy nagy lépést teszünk előre. A feleségem a legdrágább és legtürelmesebb és a legszebb nő a világon. […]
Thought of the Day
What you are shouts so loud in my ears I cannot hear what you say. Emerson
