Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can get going without pep pills, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand […]
People are Very Smart
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked! Q:I have never […]
A Short Love Story
At this time of year I found this to be truly touching. A man and a woman who had never met before, and were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired […]
Knock on Heaven’s Door
Knock, Knock I knocked at heaven’ door this morning. God asked me… ‘My child, what can I do for you?’ And I said, ‘Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message.’ God smiled and answered… ‘Request granted’. If you believe, send this site to seven people. By doing this, you have succeeded in […]
Dear IRS
Dear IRS, I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost. I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog license tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting license […]
To Be 6 Again…
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday. ‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, […]
Thinking Outside the Box
His lucky day! She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T-shirt she normally slept in. As he walked in, almost awake, she turned to him and said softly, ‘You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!’ His eyes lit up and he […]
The Laws of Nature
These are the laws of the natural universe: ~ Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. ~ Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. ~ Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never […]
For Those of You Who Have Boys
A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Mum, I’m going to bring over two other female friends as well as my fiancee, and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry”. The next day, he brings three beautiful […]
It’s Hell Getting Old
OLD people have problems that you haven’t even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’ The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared […]
