In American Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are (purportedly) things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?” ATTORNEY: And why did […]
Words of Wisdom
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Try everything twice. On Madam’s (of Whelan’s and Madam) tombstone she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice…loved it both times! 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches). 3. Keep learning: Learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, […]
Irish Humor
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O’Leary’s apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O’Conner looks around and asks, ‘Oh, me boys, someone got’s to tell Paddy’s wife. […]