The Future of Nursery Rhymes
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall The structure of the wall was incorrect So he won a grand with Claims Direct. It’s Raining, It’s Pouring. Oh shit, it’s Global Warming. Mary had a little lamb her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her between two […]
Students ~ Police
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Somewhere, somehow your son is depriving a village of an ‘idiot’. 5. Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails […]
Poem
A WOMAN’S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep, One who’s handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won’t […]
The Kiss
She is pregnant; he had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire. When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest. A photographer from […]
Pregnancy, Estrogen & Women
PREGNANCY Q & A & more! Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex? A: Childbirth. Q: […]
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
(for the best effect, read them aloud) English — — — — — — — — — — — — — Chinese That’s not right! — — — — — — — — — — Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive? — — — — — — — Hu Yu Hai Ding See […]
Stella Awards
It’s time again for the annual ‘Stella Awards’! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald’s in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees […]
