Několik Vtipů o Důchodcích
Děda, co je to důchod? ” – “Bohužel jen smutná vzpomínka na plat!” Manželský pár potká souseda od vedle, šarmantního staříka, nóbl oblečeného, a zvědavá ženská se hned ptá: “Kampak jdete, dědečku?” “Ale, na sraz maturantů…” “Ale vám je už přes devadesát, to vás na ten sraz už asi moc nepřijde, že?” “No, posledních deset […]
Paraprosdokian Sentences
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. ************************** Ø I asked God for a bike, but […]
Thought of the Day
Two things are infinite: The Universe and Human Stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
Dogs for Emergency Services
Emergency Services has introduced trained service dogs to help cut costs. Canines have been used for police work, search & rescue, tracking, service dogs, and a variety of other tasks. Now they’re assisting Paramedics and doing so at a much lower cost. See the example below…………………….. . . Breathe, damn you, breathe!
Tequila
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s with the money in the jar?” “Well…, you pay $10, and […]
History Lesson
According to reliable Anthropological sources, in 1872 the Arab’s invented the condom, using a goats lower intestine. In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by removing it from the goat first…
Where is My Sunday Paper?
The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was. “Madam”, said the newspaper employee, “today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY”. There was quiet and long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she […]
Zopár Múdrostí
– Najlepšie je nič neriešiť. Veď ono sa to už poserie aj samo… – Nepiť je jediný spôsob, ako zostať triezvy. Obávam sa však, že aj najhorší… – Opil som sa v sebaobrane! Prepadol ma smäd… – Tešiť sa dá aj z maličkostí. Napríklad z výplaty… – Väčšina chorôb je zo stresu, len pohlavné sú […]
Tech Support Funnies
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one… =============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine.. I can’t get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck. Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute. I […]
