Four Worms
Four Worms and a Lesson to be learned A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars… The first worm was put into a container of ALCOHOL. The second worm was put into a container of CIGARETTE SMOKE. The third worm was […]
The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’ The girl said, ‘NO!’ And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and Jack Daniels and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. THE […]
Three Husbands
Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband,Ted, died of cancer. She married again, and her & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Judy *again*, married,…. And this time, her & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 children. Standing […]
Help Line
I was depressed last night so I called a crisis help line… Got a freaking call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
An Irish Blonde in a Casino
An attractive Blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude”. With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and […]
Farmer
An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice: picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided […]
Irish Sausages
Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money between them. They could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said ‘Hang on, I have an idea.’ He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said ‘Are you crazy? […]
In American Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are (purportedly) things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?” ATTORNEY: And why did […]
Spanish Word of the Day
GOOD FOR A CHUCKLE! SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My wife gets mad and I don’t even know water problem is! SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BRIEF My friend smells so bad, I couldn’t brief . SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: MUSHROOM When all my familia gets in the car, there’s not mushroom. SPANISH […]
