I Want to Share This With All the Women..
TO ALL MY DEAREST FRIENDS, I’M SO GLAD I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS! The correct way to weigh yourself: I can’t believe I was doing it wrong all these years. WE MUST SPREAD THE WORD.
Kids are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct.. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. __________________________________________ TEACHER: John , why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’ […]
Two Buttons and a Square
(1/If guns kill people, do pencils misspell words? 2/My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. 3/Apparently, common sense isn’t that common)
Ekologická Výzva
Nekupuj živý vianočný stromček! Daj si do izby policajta, je zelený, má hviezdičky a visia mu gule. Ak sa ti podarí zohnať dopraváka, bude ti aj svietiť!
Are You Speeding? I am Not Speeding…!
GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY. I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT… One Sign You’re Driving Too Fast……… . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Thought of the Day
If you wait to do everything until you are sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything. Win Borden
Szovjetunióban Történt
A Szovjetunióban haldoklik nagyanyó, a nagyapó végigjárja az orvosokat, van-e valami remény – végül egy alternatív doktor azt mondja neki: egy módon segíthet az asszonynak, ha teljesíti férji kötelezettségét. Mire az öreg: – Nagyon öreg vagyok én már, kezem között halt meg Lenin elvtárs, hogy tehetnék én ilyet..? De az orvos csak győzködik, hogy nincs […]
New Sex Study…
It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
Two for the Day
Inspection A deputy sheriff stops at a dairy farm and talks with the old farmer who is the owner. He tells the farmer, “I need to inspect your property for illegally grown marijuana.” The old farmer says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.” The officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the […]
O x y m o r o n s
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something […]
