How Old is Grandpa?
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general. The Grandfather replied, ‘Well, let me think a minute, I was born before: ‘television ‘penicillin ‘polio shots ‘frozen foods ‘Xerox ‘contact lenses […]
Thought for the Day
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don’t.
In American Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are (purportedly) things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?” ATTORNEY: And why did […]
The Things Children Say…
Read on and you’ll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!! JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’ MELANIE (age […]
Words of Wisdom
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Try everything twice. On Madam’s (of Whelan’s and Madam) tombstone she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice…loved it both times! 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches). 3. Keep learning: Learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, […]
The Kiss
She is pregnant; he had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire. When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest. A photographer from […]
Stella Awards
It’s time again for the annual ‘Stella Awards’! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald’s in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees […]
Cena Času
Aby si si uvedomil cenu rodičov – spýtaj sa niekoho, kto ich nemá. Aby si si uvedomil cenu 10. rokov – spýtaj sa práve rozvedeného manželského páru. Aby si si uvedomil cenu 4. rokov – spýtaj sa maturanta. Aby si si uvedomil cenu jedného roka – spýtaj sa študenta, ktorý prepadol pri ročníkovej skúške. Aby […]
