The Vibrator
As a woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: ‘What in the world are you doing?’ The daughter replied: ‘mom, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as […]
Two Choices
What would you do?…. you make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice? At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would […]
Burned Biscuits
When I was a wee ”tyke,” my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned […]
Who My Baby Daddy?
The following are all replies that Cleveland, Ohio women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing ‘father’s details;’ or putting it another way…. Who’s yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms! 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Willie McKinley I […]
Quotes
I dialed a number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aspire to inspire […]
The Salesman’s Robot
John was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about […]
The Nun and the Priest
A Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf. The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing. He missed the ball entirely and said: “Shit, I missed.” The good Sister told him to watch his language. On his next swing, he […]
Daddy Longlegs
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over […]
The Sparrow
Life’s little lessons…
Letter to Dad
A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling […]
