My Life Would Be Different If…
For those who love their pets IF I DIDN’T HAVE A DOG OR CAT….. I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety. My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated. All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair. When the doorbell rings, it wouldn’t sound like a kennel. […]
The Porch and The Blond
A young blond girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her […]
Mama and Her Bible
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and they prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said “I had a big house built for Mama.” […]
Divorced Barbie
DIVORCED BARBIE DOLL! One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?’ The salesperson answers, ‘Which one do you mean, […]
Building Permit
I just applied for a building permit for a new house. It’s 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 turrets, and a loud outside sound system. It has parking for 200 old cars and I was going to paint it snot green with pink trim. The King City Council told me no way! […]
Curtain Rods
PRICELESS She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on […]
Thought of the Day
If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. Robert Fulghum
The Gates of Hell in Guatemala
The Gates of Hell Just Opened In Guatemala “This can’t be real” was my first thought. Then I checked the source: The Guatemalan government. This sinkhole appeared yesterday, May 30, in a street intersection located in Zone 2 of Ciudad de Guatemala. A sinkhole is a natural depression caused by the removal of underground soil […]
Be the Man of Your House
A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be THE Man of Your House.” He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal […]
