A Woman’s Week at the Gym
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 […]
Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect […]
Mexican Maid
Our Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. My wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise . She asked: ‘Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?’ Maria: ‘Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase.’ The first is that I iron better […]
Pussy-Whipped
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, ‘Honey, I’ll be right back.’ ‘Where are you going, honey bunch?’ asked the wife. ‘I’m going to […]
Esther and Abe
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted […]
My Ex-Wife the Pilot
My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year. Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in […]
Italian Women Are Tough!
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite ravioli wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. When he reached the bottom of […]
Cow from New Zealand
The only cow in a small town in Australia stopped giving milk. The townsfolk found they could buy a cow in New Zealand quite cheaply. They brought the cow from New Zealand and it was wonderful, produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow […]
Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns
Dear Brian, I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to […]
The Loving Husband
A man had two of the best seats at the FA Cup final. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. “No”, he says, “the seat is empty.” “This is incredible!” said the man, “who in their right mind would have a seat […]
