Only Seconds Left to Live…
WARNING! GRAPHIC BOATING PHOTO…. – – – – – – – – – – THIS IS A PICTURE OF A MAN WITH JUST SECONDS LEFT TO LIVE…. – – – – – – – – – –
Lawn Mower
My wife always wanted a riding lawn mower. She works all day and was always tired when she came home from work, and thought that a riding lawn mower would help her get the yard work done quicker so she would have more time for the chores inside the house. So, being the handy sort […]
Anger Management
Husband says: When I get mad at you,You never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife says: I clean the toilet… Husband says: How does that help? Wife says: I use your Toothbrush…..
Bert’s New Boots
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas… Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, ‘Notice anything different about me?’ Margaret looked him over. ‘Nope.’ Frustrated, Bert stormed […]
You Have Just Got to Love Southern Women
Two nicely dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the south. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman […]
5 Minute Management Course
Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to […]
Banned From WAL-MART
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will… After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women – she loved to […]
Sunday Morning Sex
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday Morning.” Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that […]
Curtain Rods
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music and feasted on a […]
Making Babies
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.’ Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby […]
