Did You See Me…
A seriously bad ass bank robber pulls a job at the local bank and as he is leaving confronts one of the customers quivering in the corner, asking him “Did you see me rob this bank?” The customer replies “Well, yeah, I saw you rob it”. Boom!! the bank robber wastes the guy. The robber […]
Elderly Couple
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, ‘Honey, you know I […]
Prayer
The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord’s voice. A young man couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Does God still speak to people?’ After service, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different […]
Why I Fired my Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday.’ I thought… Well, […]
Jewelry
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead. Maybe next […]
Church Story
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers. A woman stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t […]
Truck for Sale
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, ‘Where did you get that truck???!!!’ He calmly told them, ‘I bought it today.’ ‘With what money?’ demanded his parents as they knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. ‘Well,’ said the boy, ‘this one cost me […]
The Blonde
A Blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The Blonde jumps up out of bed and says: “I’ve had enough of this,” and she goes downstairs. The Blonde finally comes back up to bed and her […]
The Wongs
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy. ‘Congratulations,’ says the nurse to the new parents. ‘Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?’ The puzzled father looks at his […]
