They Say These Are the Actual Medical Records
A collection of documentation statements actually found on patient’s charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we are afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals: *The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and […]
Gentlemen, Look For the Right Insurance!!
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously. ‘Oh my GOD!’ screamed the woman. ‘That’s disgraceful! Why is he doing that?’ The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained: ‘I’m very sorry that you were exposed to that, […]
Nurses Aren’t Supposed to Laugh
Of course I won’t laugh, said the nurse… I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient. Okay then, said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest ‘man thingy’ the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn’t have been bigger than the a AAA battery. […]
Doctors
The doctor felt the man’s purse and said there was no hope. Nobody wants to be married to a doctor who works weekends and makes house calls at 2 a.m. But every patient would like to find one. It’s a good idea to “shop around” before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition […]
Test Results
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. ‘Nurse’, he mumbles, from behind the mask . ‘Are my testicles black?’ Embarrassed, the […]
