Best Divorce Letter Ever
Dear wife: I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was […]
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the […]
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter . “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh! Killing any?” She asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?” He responded, “3 were on a beer […]
Did You See Me…
A seriously bad ass bank robber pulls a job at the local bank and as he is leaving confronts one of the customers quivering in the corner, asking him “Did you see me rob this bank?” The customer replies “Well, yeah, I saw you rob it”. Boom!! the bank robber wastes the guy. The robber […]
Elderly Couple
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, ‘Honey, you know I […]
Prayer
The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord’s voice. A young man couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Does God still speak to people?’ After service, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different […]
Why I Fired my Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday.’ I thought… Well, […]
Jewelry
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead. Maybe next […]
Why Some Men Have Dogs and not Wives
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog’s parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your […]
