I think you’re the father of one of my kids
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Now his mind travels […]
Cat Lover or Not, this is Hysterical!
We’ve all had trouble with our animals, but I don’t think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I’m lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the […]
Three Husbands
Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband,Ted, died of cancer. She married again, and her & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Judy *again*, married,…. And this time, her & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 children. Standing […]
English Lesson
On my 60th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife…. The certificate paid for a visit to a witch doctor living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the witch doctor, and wondered […]
“Loving Wife”
To my darling husband, Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately it’s not too bad and I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me. I […]
Hearing Test
A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the […]
Old Timers Sex
The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’ ‘Yes’, she says, ‘I remember it well.’ ‘OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a […]
About Marriage
Wife: ‘What are you doing?’ Husband: ‘Nothing. Wife: ‘Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’ Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’ Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’ Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’ Wife: ‘Yes or no.’ Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?’ Husband: ‘When there […]
