Bob and the Blonde
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a Blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked […]
The Real Meaning of Words
This is one of the best: Love Sorrow Innocence Departure Pain Solitude Music Respect Compassion Friendship Music Patience Stranger Rescued Best friends Divine “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass… it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”
Compassion
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach, he had no arms or legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for him, the 1st woman asked, ‘Have you ever had a hug?’ The man said, ‘No,’ so she gave him a hug and walked on. The 2nd woman asked, ‘Have you […]
Mars vs. Venus
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were […]
Encounter on an Airplane
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, […]
Taking Woman to Bed
What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78? At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take […]
Today is National ‘HOLY CRAP YOU’RE HOT DAY!’
Send this to someone gorgeous, but not me, I’ve been getting this damn message all day!!!
Repeat After Me…
I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN, I’M NEVER DRINKING […]
Chicken Surprise
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the ‘Chicken Surprise’, the waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the […]
